My Journal

Today, I got two people's feedback on my This I Believe essay. I was kind of surprised by their reviews. I was a little worried that I was going to not get very good reviews. Surprisingly, people actually liked my essay for the most part, at least they said they did. They said that the whole thing flowed well together (which makes me very happy), wasn't confusing, and that I wrote it effectively in my personal perspective.

There were still a couple things wrong with my essay. I'm going to work on fixing them to make my overall essay better than it is now. I would not have noticed the errors if it weren't for my writing group. For that, I'm happy that my classmates were wiling to give their honest opinion. I always value honest over politeness. My goal is to use this blog post as a guide for revising my essay.

Thesis Statement. The biggest mistake I made was forgetting to add a thesis statement to my essay.  I can't believe I forgot about it. For some reason, I often forget to make one. I'm going to try to think of a strong statement and add it into the first and last paragraph.

Repeating Words. I repeat the same words a lot. This happens when I go back to writing an essay after a few days, or when I just want to make my essay a few words longer. I realize that this is very unprofessional. I need to stop doing that. In my essay, I will find all the unnecessary words that were repeated and delete them.

Strong Conclusion. Someone pointed out that my conclusion could afford to be stronger. I completely agree with them. My conclusion is weak. I write more than just summary of my essay in the conclusion.