My Journal

Every breath I took was agonizing. It felt like amounted to a week's worth of breaths. I knew it would be only in a matter of minutes until I would bleed out. I sat against a old tree taking in cool breaths and releasing warm breaths that were probably the only warmness within thousands of miles. I couldn't tell what type of tree I was leaning up against, it must have only grown in foreign countries. In between breaths, I would apply pressure to my wound with a piece of cloth. All I could think of was that help was hundreds of miles away, I didn't know what to do, I was alone.

I kept telling myself that I didn't want to die leaning up against a tree. What a stupid way to die, just sitting with my back up against a tree waiting to die. That's not how I wanted my life to end. I only wanted to die if I physically could not put anymore effort into it. I only wanted to die going forward. I wanted to use those last minutes of my life doing something, anything, besides sitting around. That was not how my parents raised me.  I willed my self to get up and start going until I couldn't go any further. Until my body gives out and I lose all consciousness.

For the first few minutes, I crawled across the dirt ridden ground, while my abdomen increasingly released sharp pains. Every movement came more and more pain. At the moment I wished I could turn off all the pain. Whatever part in my brain that causes me to feel pain, I wanted it off. Despite my feelings, I kept going.

With my face covered in sweaty dirt, I spotted a clearing a few feet away. I didn't recognize it from walking around earlier. As I for forced my myself to crawl closer and closer, I spotted a large object. From what I could tell it was wooden. "Is that what I think it is?"I thought to myself. With my newly found curiosity, I crawled faster, eager to find out what the object was. As I got closer, my guess was confirmed. It was a piano.

I didn't question what a piano was doing in the middle of nowhere. I honestly didn't care. I stopped crawling when I next to the piano, leaning on it just as I was on the tree. Some part of me wanted to see if the piano worked. After the struggle of puling myself up to the piano, I started pressing a key. That one key's sound was magnified throughout the whole meadow. I might have been imagining it, but it sounded beautiful. I started playing a song that I remembered from my childhood. Somehow the more I played the stronger I felt, the stronger I could stand up. So naturally, I played more and more. I don't know how to describe the feeling I had, but I didn't dare question it. Memories started flowing back in: My teacher and I sitting in my living room smacking my hand with a ruler every time I got a note wrong, my parents with huge smile on their faces while I played a new song I learned, and finally, the exhilaration I felt taking my bow on stage to a crowd of people clapping and praising my piano skills.

I felt something that I hadn't felt in a long time, happiness. I could feel a tear escaping my left eye and roiling down my cheek. All of the sudden, my vision went black. I fell to the ground gasping for air. I couldn't breathe. Unbearable pain was overtaking me. Death was here. I stopped holding back and gave up. I decided that I had enough. It was finally time to let everything go. So I did. The blackness cleared up and there I was, standing on a stage getting ready to perform my first song. A massive smile on my face, not knowing what was to be held in my future. I like to think that the same smile I had on that day was also on my face during death, during the time the light finally enveloped me.

Stereotypes can sometimes be mean and offensive. However, often they can be true or are an exaggerated form of the truth. I decided that I would like to make a list and explain some different stereotypes of my race, Asian, more specifically Chinese, that apply to me. The ones that are to an extent "true". Even though I was adopted as a baby by an American couple, I still have the Chinese culture ingrained in me, because of living in China for more than half my life after being adopted. I do realize that not all of these stereotypes apply to every Asian. These are just a few stereotypes that apply towards me personally.

Chinese are bad drivers. This is the first stereotype that comes to mind. I always thought that this was a ridiculous stereotype and could not possible be true. After taking my test to get my permit, I started test driving in the country with my parents. A couple of weeks after I got my permit I made a huge mistake of pressing the gas pedal instead of the brake. I was right in front of the wooden entryway to my Uncle's old house. Luckily, I didn't hit anything. I have to say that scared the living daylights out of me. I kept thinking to myself, what if I had done that in the city? From then on, I was scared of driving. I have feeling when I move back to America I will get over it, at least I hope so.

Chinese are good at math. This stereotype is very common. I do have to admit that I am substantially good at math, well at least I used to be. It's been a few months since I took a math class. Though I am far from being a genius, math has always been one of my favorite subjects. However, I have living proof that not all Chinese are good at math, take my sister for example. Math has never been her strong suit, but hey, she still manged to pass her classes.

Chinese have small eyes. This stereotype for the most part is true. Most Chinese I know have thinner eyes. My eyes are a little rounder than your average Chinese, but they are still small compared to your average Caucasian person.

I set my timer for 10 minutes. My goal for this blog post is to write as many words as I can, but also make sense at the same time. My best strategy is to think of different subjects as I go, just as I am doing right now. The first subject I'm thinking of is competition. Competitiveness has always been a big characteristic of mine. Whether it was competing with my sister in school, or playing a board game, I would be competitive. I'm not a sore loser though. The only time I am a sore loser is when the other person cheats to win. Speaking of cheating to win, a massive pet peeve of mine is when people let children of around the ages of 7-12 cheat in a game because they are "less advantaged". Pshh. That annoys me so much.

The next subject I'm thinking of is time. The overused saying of "time flys by" is very true. That's probably why people use it so much. Recently, time has been "flying by" very quickly. However, I'm not so much as having fun, as actually the opposite. I don't really understand why my weeks are ending so fast. Maybe it's because I want them too slow down. Life isn't fair.

I need to think of another subject. Ah, I thought of one, soda. I absolutely love to drink soda. It's almost seems addicting to me. I have read online that soda is not addictive, but I still wonder. I'm not exactly sure what's in it, but then again I'm not sure what's in most preserved food that people eat.

It looks like my time is almost up. I don't think that my writing time has improved very much. I either need to learn to type faster or think faster, or maybe even both.

Decisions Decisions. We all have to make them at some point in our lives. Some are hard to make, some easy, and some can even be fun.

A decision that I am stuck with is one that, to my knowledge, many other young adults have to make. A that decision is in regard to college. Where to go? To go at all? I have chosen to go to college. That is obvious considering the fact that I'm writing this blog post for college. To go to college or not to, has never been a hard decision for me. For the longest time, I have wanted to go to college. I'm not a huge fan of school, but I want to further my education so I can get a decent job. Also, I personally don't feel doing what people call "adulting" just yet.

As to where to go is my biggest decision I must make now. I am kind of in a rut. My family and I are moving back to the United States after living abroad for almost 12 years. I chose to do online college because that seemed to be the best option for me at the time. At the end of my last semester, I learnt that I cannot finish my associates degree online. Only less tahn half of my required classes are available online. So, since I cannot do school online much longer, and don't want to change my degree, I will actually need to take seated classes. This comes down to my statement of being in a rut.

My parents are moving to a different city than the community college I'm in now, so I will have to get my own apartment if I stay at the school. However, if I transfer and live on campus at another college, I will be in debt, which I'm trying my best to avoid. Many people I know are in huge debt from school, and I don't want to go anywhere near there.  The city where my parents are moving has only a few colleges, and they are either expensive are not very good. The closest "good" college is about 40 minutes away. That would mean I would have to drive every day if I went full time. That would get very expensive. As you can see I have a decision to make before spring semester starts. I really hope I make a good one and don't regret. I guess only time will tell. 

On google, a hobby is defined as an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for on pleaaure. Having hobbies is good and healthy for you. Before when people would ask me what my hobbies were would shrug and mumble,"I don't know." My hobbies didn't really develop until I was a teenager. When I was younger ri dint know exactly what hobbies were but looking back now I can only think of One and that was playing with my sister. Now I have many different hobbies that I would like to share with you.

Music. One of my biggest hobbies is playing the piano. When I was younger I had a piano teacher on and off for two years. Since then, I haven't had a teacher. Now, I just play for fun. I like to watch piano tutorials  on YouTube and go from there. Recently, I have tried learning the guitar. In my opnion, it's a bit harder to play than the piano, but I really enjoy the sound of it.

Reading. I really enjoy reading. My favorite genres are comedy, drama, fantasy books. I'm not to keen on classics and philosophical book right now. I may possibly be when I'm older. When I'm not I n the mood to watch TV I usually pick up a book.

Photoshopping. Very recently, I took photo shopping as one of my hobbies. Well, it's actually more of an experiment. I signed up for Adobe's 30 day trial to see if it's something that I'm interested in for either a hobby or maybe even a side job. So far, I have only finished one project, and it wasn't that great. Practice makes perfect right?

Web Surfing. To my surprise, Web Surfing is a hobby according to Wikipedia. This hobby takes up a large amount of my time. The information provided  by the Internet is practically unlimited. Whether I'm bored and looking for something to do, or am curious about a certain subject, I rely on the trusty Google.

From kindergarten to sixth, I had penmanship everyday, excluding the weekends. I would spend at least an hour a day writing. When I was kindergarten, I learned how to write print letters, both capital and lower case. As I became better and better at writing in print, I started switched over to writing everything in cursive. After mastering cursive letters, I began writing full sentences. I would copy off books and different chapters in the Bible.

To my knowledge, most, if not all, public school in the United States do not write in cursive letters anymore. I'm not sure why they don't anymore. It seems kind of unreasonable that they took it out of school curriculum. The whole new curriculum confuse me sometimes. I wonder whose decision it was to remove it, was it the governments? There are two reasons why I think schools should still teach cursive. First off, it can possible help a student improve academically. It's good for your brain, and known to help memory. Second, you will probably need it when you have to write your signature. Not knowing cursive, when writing your signature can pose as a huge problem

In my lower grades, I enjoy doing penmanship, but after that I always thought writing in cursive was more of a nuisance rather than actually helpful. Despite my feeling for cursive, I'm very glad that I was able to learn how to write in cursive. I don't use it much now, but if I ever needed it for say, a job, then it would be very convenient to have that skill. My cursive writing is not great, but I love the way it looks. It almost seems like an old way of writing. Speaking of old writing, the original Declaration of Independence was written in cursive, and many other important documents.

Today, I got two people's feedback on my This I Believe essay. I was kind of surprised by their reviews. I was a little worried that I was going to not get very good reviews. Surprisingly, people actually liked my essay for the most part, at least they said they did. They said that the whole thing flowed well together (which makes me very happy), wasn't confusing, and that I wrote it effectively in my personal perspective.

There were still a couple things wrong with my essay. I'm going to work on fixing them to make my overall essay better than it is now. I would not have noticed the errors if it weren't for my writing group. For that, I'm happy that my classmates were wiling to give their honest opinion. I always value honest over politeness. My goal is to use this blog post as a guide for revising my essay.

Thesis Statement. The biggest mistake I made was forgetting to add a thesis statement to my essay.  I can't believe I forgot about it. For some reason, I often forget to make one. I'm going to try to think of a strong statement and add it into the first and last paragraph.

Repeating Words. I repeat the same words a lot. This happens when I go back to writing an essay after a few days, or when I just want to make my essay a few words longer. I realize that this is very unprofessional. I need to stop doing that. In my essay, I will find all the unnecessary words that were repeated and delete them.

Strong Conclusion. Someone pointed out that my conclusion could afford to be stronger. I completely agree with them. My conclusion is weak. I write more than just summary of my essay in the conclusion.

Evidently, today is both the first day of Autumn, or as I know it better, Fall, and National Checker day. I would not have known this if it were not for the internet. It truly is a wonderful thing.

Fall has always been a so so season to me. Not much has happened during fall that I recall worth remembering. I know a lot of people who love Fall. Those people have told me their favorite season is Fall because of the beautiful colors of the trees with their leaves, and of course not to forgot pumpkin spice flavored everything. One reason I don't enjoy fall is because it's usually cold. I get cold easily and I don't like it one bit. Also, I don't care too much for pumpkin spice either.

Out of sole curiosity, I decided to do some research on Nation Checkers Day. Apparently, National checker's day is also know as "Dogs in Politics Day". Who would have known? Also, to my surprise, National Checker's Day has nothing at all to do with the popular board game, like I though it did. To be honest, I really did believe that it was a day that some famous checker game event was won. And so in memory of the winner, everyone plays checkers on this day. Boy, was I wrong.

On this day in 1952, Richard Nixon,a vice-president candidate, gave a speech addressing the concerns that the public has about of his campaign funds. The public were afraid that he was using the money in dishonest ways. He assured the public that he had not misused any of the funds, but that he was going to keep one gift, a little Cocker Spaniel named Checkers. The “Checkers speech” was a political success. Thus, National Checkers Day was created.

Have you ever had the same exact dream more than twice? I know for sure I have. I wonder what reoccurring dreams mean, if anything at all. I was about 10 or 11 when I had the same dream multiple times.

Here's the reoccurring dream that I used to have :

I am standing at the entrance of a restaurant with my family waiting for a table. The room is warm with incandescent bulbs lighting the room. The whole scene is in a sepia coloring. There are families and couples sitting at tables talking and laughing. My family is finally assigned to a table. Everyone sits down before me, and I realize that there is no room for me. So then, a waiter guides me to a small room with little table. The table has a coffee machine on it and cups on the side. The waiter pulls up a seat for me, and I sit. From wear I'm sitting I can see the rest of my family talking. I feel sad and kind of mad. I start crying, and then next thing I know it I wake up.

Someone once told me that your dreams can say a lot about you, even if they don't make sense. I've heard that sometimes you can analyze your dreams and find stuff about yourself you didn't even know. This is probably just a bunch of nonsense, but sometimes I wonder. Dreams are you thoughts while your asleep, aren't they?

 I'm not sure why I had the dream I did multiple times. It doesn't make any sense. I have never had the feeling that my family didn't like me or want me. I assume a lot of dreams don't make sense and aren't supposed to.  I guess this dream goes way up there with all my other meaningless dreams I have.

Today, I posted my This I Believe essay on my group's discussion board. I'm both scared and a little excited to see what my classmates think about it. I really hope that my writing group's feedback will help me make my essay better. Unfortunately, the last essay I wrote wasn't even passing. I really need to step up my game.


Not only will I receive feedback, but I also have to give other people feedback on their work. I would easily say that I'm a very opinionated person. When I get a chance to share my opinion, I usually don't hesitate to give it. However, when it come down to essays and other writings, I have trouble being critical. I'm not the best writer myself, and I feel like criticizing other people's works is not fair to them. I can barely write myself, and there I go telling other people what is wrong with their writings.

Even though I'm not that great of a writer, I guess that my opinions still matter. Maybe I could have mentioned something that someone else didn't or forgot too. I, myself, would receive feedback from a less experienced writer, just to see what they think of it. The more people to review your essay the better I guess.

In other news, I have a American Government and Politics report assigned. I chose to write about gun control. American Government has never been a passion of mine. I have never been interested in politics, but I chose gun control as my topics anyway. I don't own a gun or know many people who do, but gun control was the only topic that stood out to me, so I chose it to write about. I'm nearly finished writing it, but it's still not ready to be turned in yet. I hope that this essay turns out well too.

This past week, my teacher has requested all of her students to post something that they are thankful for. I posted the first thing I could think of which is sisters. I am more specifically referring to my oldest sister. Ah sisters, many of us have them, we either annoy the heck out of them or they annoy us. In this case, I am the annoyer, not the annoyee. I am extremely thankful for sisters. I do not know how I would live without them. In my post, I did not further explain myself. I failed to elaborate on why I'm so thankful for my sister.

I have moved approximately 11 times, soon to be 12, in my 17 years. I have moved so much in my life that I have never really had a long time best friend, at least that I thought. Yet, I do not blame my parents though. In a way, I am happy we moved so much. I got to experience different places, I got to know different kinds of people, and learn different languages. My life truly is an adventure, thanks to my parents.

 I have had really good friends in the past, but most of them have either moved on and/or live across the world from me. Yet, there was one person with me all that time. One person who is my age. Someone who went and still goes through the same thing as me. That girl is my sister, Elise. Even though I don't like to admit it, I know she is my best friend. She will be forever. Whether she moves across the country or moves all the way across the world, she will always be my best friend. We have had our ups and downs, and probably still will, but once family always family.

Something that I enjoy doing with my spare time is reading and writing about technology. For the longest time, I have been very interest in computers and other technology. I couldn't think of much to write about today, so I thought I might do a comparison of two different apple products.

The iPod Touch 6th generation came out a few months ago. I had no idea. I knew that it was coming out sometime this year, but not so soon. This new iPod touch has replaced the yellow color with a luxurious gold color, seen in the iPhone. I guess the yellow iPod Touch 5 didn't sell that well. One thing to note about the new iPod Touch 6th generation is that Apple has added a new storage size of 128 GB to the previous sizes of 16 GB, 32 GB, and 64 GB. Also, for some reason Apple decided to take the loop button off of the new iPod. I'm not sure to as why they did that. Possibly, because it was not used as much as they hoped it to be. Or maybe it was just an experiment to see if people liked it.

As far as specs go, the iPod Touch 5th generation is pretty similar to the new 6th generation. The only major differences are the RAM, chip, and camera. The new iPod Touch has doubled the amount of RAM seen in the iPod Touch 5. However, the doubled RAM does not make the new device faster, it just allows you to do more things at the same time without lag. The new iPod Touch 6 also sports a new chip. The new used is the A8 chip as opposed to the iPod Touch 5's A5 chip. The A8 chip is the same chip used in the new iPhone 6. Lastly, the iPod Touch 6 has an 8 megapixel camera, as opposed to the 5 megapixel camera seen in the iPod Touch 5.

The color, size, weight, build, display, camera aperture, storage options, and price show very little change in the two iPod Touches, if not identical.

Conclusions:

I have concluded that the iPod Touch 6th Generation is NOT worth it. I have had my iPod Touch 5 for almost 2 years now and I'm still happy with it. I have dropped it over and over without a case and it's still alive and in very good condition. Another reason I won't be buying it is because I'm trying to save up for a phone. However, if you don't have an iPod Touch, want one, and have a little extra money, I suggest that you buy the new iPod Touch 6th generation. It's the same price as the iPod Touch 5 when it came out, and it has much better specs.

Disclaimer: All my reviews and opinions expressed here are solely my own. I am not sponsored or paid by any of these companies.

Today is Friday. If someone asked me what my favorite day of the week is I would without a doubt tell them Friday. Why Friday you ask? Well, there are many factors as to why Friday is my favorite, as to many factors why Summer is my favorite season, and why penguins cannot fly. You probably get the point I'm trying to make now.

So, without further ado, here are a few reasons why I love Friday so:

School . Friday is the day when I'm finished or nearly finished with my school work. It's the day I can do some school but be a little lazy at the same time. If I'm not finished with school I usually use the next couple of days to finish revising my essays or continue writing them. Friday is the day I don't have to get up early the next morning. I don't have to worry about all the assignments I have due the next week.


Fun Nights. Friday night is the time when me and my sister have a sleepover with five special girls. They are like little sisters to me. We start the night out by watching movies and watching funny compilation's on YouTube. Occasionally, we will watch Hindi and Telegu music videos. Sometimes, we even do girly things like painting nails, doing henna, and putting on sarees. We all stay up late and make memories

Looking Back. Most importantly, Friday is the day when I look back at my week. I look back at what I did Monday through Thursday. I look back at all the accomplishments I made. All the things I thought I couldn't do done. From this I am able to feel good about myself. It gives me hope for the next week to come and the next after that and the next...

 ABCs of Advice

After sifting through hundreds and hundreds of writing prompts, I came up with another one I found interesting. This writing prompts is to write the ABCs of advice. I thought it was a great idea, so I tried it out for myself. I realize that some of the pieces of advice are a little strange. Some of the letters were hard to make sentences from, such as the letter "x" and "z", but I eventually came up with something.

For this writing, I have thought of 26 different pieces of advice that mean something to me. Pieces of advice that have helped me in my life and continue to. Pieces of advice that could possible help you too. There are some pieces of advice I had to learn the hard way. Some of them are quotes I have seen in various locations, and some are sentences I have thought up on my own. I had a lot of fun making my ABC's of advice and encourage other people to do so too.

Here are the ABCs of advice I created based on my own personal experiences.

Accept yourself as you are.
Believe in God.
Careful who you trust.
Don't give up
Enjoy life to it's fullest.
Forgive others.
Give wholeheartedly.
Hold on, pain ends.
It's okay to cry.
Justice is not always the answer.
Knitting is calming.
Laughing is healthy.
Money isn't everything
Never trust a fart.
Optimism should be balanced.
Pray everyday.
Question only if you want the answer
Rise over the haters.
Sometimes you have to let people go.
Truth sometimes hurts.
Underestimating people is stupid.
Vanity does not help you in life.
Worrying isn't going to get you anywhere.
Xenophobia is a phobia you should not have.
You're not alone.
Zits don't define you.

My Morning


My tablet plays music and vibrates at 7 o'clock. I set my clock early the other night, thinking I would get up early the next day and use the extra time to do whatever I want before I start school. It seemed like a good idea last night. After a few seconds of my tablet playing music and vibrating, I hear the soft sweet song it's playing. Imagine a refreshed person opening their window to the perfect summer breeze. That's what my ringtone reminds me of.

 I stop my alarm and my thought is: Is it time to wake up already? I turn over and unplug my tablet from the charger and start scrolling through my Facebook. Pictures of children, marriages, people partying, and political posts scroll past my eyes. I quickly scroll and scroll looking for something interesting until I start seeing familiar posts from the other day, then I stop.

I lay back on my back staring aimlessly at my white ceiling. On the left of me, I can hear one of my sister's snoring a little bit. I sit up a tad and see my two dogs sleeping in their beds. Somehow they heard me sit up ind bed and looked up at me. I quickly lay back down so they don't start barking.

Somehow, I end up falling back asleep. I wake up again. Both my sister are gone and out of bed, and their dogs were let out of their kennels. I sit up and look at the time on my tablet and it says 8:56. Oh crap, I woke up an hour late. Wait a minute. It's Wednesday, I get to sleep in. Woohoo! I lay back down and I can't fall asleep again. So I get up, get changed, brush my teeth and stand at my door getting ready to start my day once again.

I finally found an interesting writing prompt. It's a strange one. The question to write from is:

How would life change if all people on earth looked the same?

First and foremost, I think we would have trouble telling each other people apart. We would all probably dye our hair, have different clothing styles, or do our makeup different. However, we would still be better off getting something permanent that couldn't be easily removed or duplicated, such as a tattoo, but I guess even tattoos could be replicated. That would pose as a problem. Maybe we would all get a chip implanted in us at birth, so the authorities could tell us apart. Who knows?

It would be dangerous. I think that there would be a significant more amount of crimes. There would be crimes everywhere all the time, even more than we have now, which is quite a lot if you ask me. Criminals could easily frame their crimes on someone else. They could almost effortlessly make themselves look exactly like another person.

If we all looked the same we would probably get bored. There wouldn't be anything to compare attractiveness to if we all looked the same. We wouldn't know handsome from ugly, because we never knew the difference. Additionally, you know how some people when they're angry say they don't want to see your face anymore or right now? That my friend would be very hard to do. 

I'm so glad we don't all look the same or alike. Imagine insulting someone's appearance. If someone did that, they would basically be insulting all humanity including themselves. That would not end well at all. I'm glad we were all made different. We should accept our differences and be thankful for them, after all you know what it would be like if we all looked the same.

I am now on my fifth blog/journal post. For some reason, I can't seem to find creative writing prompts that interest. There billions and billions of prompts out there, and I still can't find one. Possibly, because I'm not looking hard enough.

I thought today would be a good day to freewrite. I set my time for 15 minutes this time. I can't think of a subject to write on, so what better than to freewrite.

 I used to have a very vivid imagination. I would make up cray stories and tell them to people, and sometimes I would even include them as a character in the stories. I don't know where my imagination has gone. I don't know if it's still there anymore. It may be gone, because I have gotten older, or maybe for another reason. Many young children have wild imaginations I think.

I kind of miss being a kid. It was so easy. I was barely shy, and most people liked me, at least I thought they did. Now my personality is quite the opposite. I don't know if something happened in my life that I didn't know of that changed my personality or if I just matured.

Now I'm a pretty quiet person. No, I'm just kidding. The talkative part of me has not gone away. I guess I could say I'm shy. Sometimes I can't tell whether I'm an introvert or an extrovert. I guess I'm neither. What do they call it? An ambivert? Somebody told me that the difference from introversion and extroversion is how gain you energy from. Do you feel like you gain energy from being with people or not? I guess it varies. I gain energy from being with people I know and when I'm by myself. If I'm an ambivert then I am definitely a more introverted ambivert. If that makes any sense.

There are squiggly red lines under the words"ambivert". Maybe I'm spelling wrong, or maybe I just have mistaken that word for different word. That's the problem of freewriting. I can't just go find a dictionary, then get back to writing.

My fifteen minute are almost up. I'm really bad at conclusions. I know that they are supposed to summarize all the points you made or were trying to make, but I rarely ever know how to word it right.

The other day, I had an assignment that require me to ask one question, any question to my fellow classmates, and after that answer their questions. The one question that caught my attention was "What's your biggest fear?". Although, this a pretty common questions it still made me think. At the time, I couldn't think of anything, so I just put down heights. I read some of my other classmate's fears and I realized what my biggest fear was/is. My biggest fear is losing my parents or anyone close to me.

I have never lost anyone close to me by death, at least not yet. That's what scares me. Both my grandparents are getting older, and before I know it they may not be on earth anymore. I know a girl whose parents both passed away. I wanted to help her somehow, but I didn't know how to, because I honestly did not know what she was going through. I couldn't relate to her at all, and that mad me feel useless.

As a Christian, I shouldn't have this fear. This may sound strange, but I should be glad that they have passed on and ended this suffering, and are now in heaven. I suppose it's kind of selfish of me. I want to keep them all to myself on earth, rather than wanting them to leave and go to heaven. I really should be happy for them. Their misery is put to an end and they are rejoicing in heaven.

I did not mean for this blog post to be religious. However, it would have been hard for me not to. I've leaned that my biggest fear is basically based on selfishness. Not exactly what I wanted it to be. Oh well, I guess I will have to deal with it the rest of the time I'm on earth.

A Moral Dilemma and My Opinions: Abortion